Sunday, December 23, 2012

It Puts the Lotion on It's Skin:The Best Moisturizer Ever!

 Hello again! Sorry I've been missing for a bit. Exciting things are happening! If I haven't already beat you to death with it on numerous internet venues, I'm now a beauty contributor on XOJane! If you've followed me over here from Jane, welcome to my little cone of weirdness.

This makes a great base for make-up.
  My skin has taken a turn for the dry since I got off Accutane last year and I'm still not used to it. I've tried a number of different moisturizers like a parched Goldilocks and wasn't blown away with anything until this. It's the Clinique Moisture Surge Intense Skin Fortifying Hydrator. That's more of a mouth full than most porn stars could handle, am I right? But it's the very best.

 It's funny because I was first exposed to this after getting it as a sample in Sephora while buying another moisturizer. I ended up liking this much better, and giving the one I bought away. I am prone to flaking in the winter and so far I haven't at all. This really hydrates without being oily or heavy. I do worry about that since my skin is closer to "dry combination" than just "dry" but it doesn't make me shiny at all. Supposedly repeated use of this guy repair's skin's moisture barrier. I am honestly seeing a difference in my skin, it hasn't been dry at all. It honestly just looks healthy. If you're looking to get the most out of your moisturizer, rub it in as normal and then press whatever remains on the surface deeper into your skin with two fingers.

This moisturizer also works really well as a base for make-up. It keeps your face looking really natural and the make-up just sort of melts into your skin. It's also a really great value since my little sample jar has lasted me a month so far. This stuff is pretty intense so you really only have to use a tiny bit. A decent sized jar that should last you about a year is only $37.

 The only real downside I've seen so far is that it kind of reeks of chemicals. Like, you're not even fooling yourself about what this is. You open the lid and are ambushed with a nail polish-like smell. It's not the best, but I personally think it's worth it.  Check the Moisture Surge out if you have winter skin issues.

Have a lovely holiday!

Friday, December 7, 2012

Chanel Make Up:Distract Yourself With $26 Nail Polish

 Hey guys! So a few weeks ago it was my birthday and my friend gave me some swanky Chanel make up. It was such a great gift because I have actually never had any of their products before.

Holiday 2012
  I was really excited about it, but also kind of afraid of it.  You see, for years I'd been telling myself that that stuff wasn't really any better than regular make up. The eyeshadow and mascara were pretty safe because I don't wear that stuff every day, but I am pretty obsessed with nail polish so this was potentially dangerous. I need a $26 nail polish habit in my life like I need a fucking hole in the head. And the packaging was already really nice. I don't always wear eyeshadow but I'm into it, it came in a little Chanel compact with a little Chanel pouch, how can you not love that? And just so you know what kind of idiot person you're dealing with, I have a $30 mirror from Brighton. $30. For a mirror. But it's so me! You just look at it and oh my god that's Kristine's mirror! If I believed I had a soul, it would look like this mirror. Come to think of it, it also came in an adorable little pouch, adorable little pouches are my downfall. I'm pretty convinced at this point if someone offered me the plague in an adorable little pouch I'd be all "yes, please! does it also come in black?"
This $30 mirror is my spirit animal.
  I have not tried the eyeshadow or mascara yet because I have not had an occasion to wear them to, but I have tried the nail polish and I'm sorry to say it's kind of the best nail polish I've ever worn. It goes on really smooth, one coat is opaque and while I usually would never wear red (i prefer much less classic nail polish colors generally),  I really love this color. It has complexity. It is actually more of a burgundy with red shimmer. I feel like I will end up wearing this a lot, it stays on longer than your average polish, and damn it, I want more of them.


 "Luxury" make up like this may seem silly, but really all cosmetics are sort of silly and that's why I love them. Sometimes I just want to let go and be silly and indulge in some fun products. It might seem shallow to some people but it's better than dwelling on the bad stuff. I've learned somewhere along the way to let little things make me happy because the big ones let you down a lot. And a $30 mirror might be ridiculous but I smile every time I look at it and enjoy the simplicity of it just kind of...being what it is. Make up is fun! Products are fun! They're a nice escape, they won't break your heart. There is something comforting about them. This works really well until I get irrationally annoyed when a tube of Dior mascara is shittier than one from the drug store because I'm really upset about something important. It's kind of like the time I watched "Revolutionary Road"when my past relationship was falling apart, I kept crying and saying "I don't know...I just feel really bad for Kate Winslet...".  For like a week. It was bad. I think I just accidentally started talking about real things on a beauty blog. EW.

 Anyway if you are into these types of things, and can afford it because you already have a job and a house and all those important things, go for it. This one is actually a really high quality product.

 Honestly though, if reading this blog has helped anyone relax and be entertained and maybe just forget themselves for a little while I will consider myself successful :)

Monday, December 3, 2012

My shoot with Kayln Rock

 Hello! So today I had a very exciting day shooting with my good friend, director of photography  Mark Raker, and the lovely and talented Kayln "Rocki" Rock.

Me and Kayln
  Kayln will be releasing a follow up to her well received debut album "Passenger" and I was happy to be a part of the album cover shoot. It was a lot of fun and we all work really well together. I got to hear some tracks from her first album and I really enjoyed them. She has a great voice and very sweet melodies. I much preferred her stuff to whatever Kayln and Mark were playing off Pandora because I was not allowed to choose the music. What I enjoy is apparently in the genre of "things you would have slit your wrists to in the 90s" and was not appreciated today. We managed to have a great shoot despite the absence of Massive Attack.

Some of the things I used today.

 For this shoot Kayln wanted a fresh, natural look. I used Physician's Formula Tinted Moisturizer in Light, Clinique blush in fig, Clinique mascara in black, Revlon balm/stain in sweetheart, Bone Bell eyeshadow in cafe classics, and Lush highlighter in feeling younger.

The look.
 I will be sure to report back with the finished product as well as when the album is released. If you would like to check out Kayln's music and support this great indie artist visit She can also be found on iTunes  :)

Thank you, Jane Pratt!

So I came home to this today:

This is a thing that happened.

 That is Jane Pratt from Jane magazine/ saying that she likes this blog "a lot!" I am totally flipping my shit. It's really cool when someone you admire really lives up to how awesome you think they are. She totally did not have to take the time out to read this or respond. Welcome to everyone who found this blog through that exchange! I will try not to disappoint.

Be sure to stay in touch with me on twitter @prtoftheprob

Friday, November 30, 2012

Take This So Your Skin Isn't Gross: Things That Have Seemingly Made My Complexion Better

Hello beautiful!
Well ok, maybe you're not really that beautiful but most of my friends are, and they're really the only ones who read this thing anyway so it's like an 80/20 shot that's accurate. Otherwise I'm sure you're a very nice person or something. Speaking of things that aren't beautiful if you do read my little corner of the world you've heard me bitch about my skin before. It's to put it delicately...not good. Not only do I get the hormonal break outs most people suffer from, I also just have terrible skin allergies. I just randomly get hives and all sorts of other not fun things if the wind blows/the earth turns/ or someone looks at me the wrong way. The general cycle thus far is: I get hormonal/I break out/ the sebum irritates my already shitty allergies. I have been finding a series of things that work for me though so I will share them with you.

I leave myself little notes because I don't remember anything.

~Biotin-This B vitamin supplement is supposed to be for hair,skin,and nail health. I always kind of thought it wouldn't actually do much but it does. My nails are really hard and long, my hair feels much healthier, and my skin has been much more well behaved. This is totally the time of the month I should be breaking out and I only really got one little zit which is a fucking miracle. Biotin is supposed to aid in the breakdown of fats and carbohydrates (hello 90% of my diet!) and help with skin rashes. I have a feeling my skin's barrier function sucks and I've been trying to improve it considering I'm using/eating a lot of vitamin C which can be really harsh on your skin.

~Physically exfoliating daily-You are totally not supposed to do this. You should probably not do this. In fact it's probably irresponsible of me to even be telling you this but it's the truth. If you get cystic acne (which when I get acne I do) it can be okay to exfoliate hardcore since a primary cause of it is build up of dead skin cells.  Chemical exfoliation daily such as using a salicylic acid wash is fine for most people, but I have been using a granular scrub because I live dangerously. If you do not get cystic acne, don't do this. You're only asking for problems.

~Flax Seeds-I've introduced flax seeds into my diet since my diet consists of a lot of dollar pizza and mac and cheese and is just generally deplorable.  I'm really trying to counteract this by being a little healthier. Flax seeds regulate estrogen levels so if you are getting hormonal skin problems and don't want to be on the pill this might be a good natural option to regulate your hormones. It's not gonna alter them as much or the same way but it will help and since the pill fucks with my body too much when I'm on it this is a better option for it. You should take an ounce a day to really make a tangible difference.  I add them in the chocolate smoothies I get from Starbucks. What? I said I'm trying to get healthier not lose weight, okay?

~Clindamycin Phosphate Gel-This topical antibiotic inhibits bacterial protein synthesis at the ribosomal level which basically means it kills bacteria that causes acne. I put it on before bed every night. You need a prescription for this (or be living with someone who has one and isn't using it anymore...not that that's something I would do.)

~Taking half a Benedryl- If i feel the slightest bit itchy I take a half right away and I have been hive free for a good few weeks now. Antihistamines really don't agree with my system so I just take a half to avoid feeling lightheaded all day.

A handy way to add some flax to your life.

This regimen has been working a solid month, who knows if it will keep being that way but I'm pretty excited about it right now. It's nice not hating my skin so I can concentrate on what's really important: hating myself for not having a job yet :)

Thursday, November 29, 2012

This is Why We Can't Have Nice Things: Fix Your Fucked Up Hair

  Hello again. I am totally insomnia ridden, as I am wont to be, so you're getting two posts in the same "day". Exciting! So anyway, if you have any fun with your hair at all (bleaching, dying, straightening, curling) your hair is at least a little bit fucked up.  My hair has been all kinds of fucked up and it's actually super healthy right now so  I will tell you how that happened.
Red Ombre Killed my hair.

(I just want to quickly mention my boyfriend gave me that shirt, and I wear it to bed since I'm kind of against wearing shirts by bands you don't listen too. Sorry to any Skeleton Witch fans who got excited. )

 So I'm living with my aunt right now and we have had massive fights about me getting hair dye/ the overwhelming smell of bleach all over the house. To avoid this when I had the red ombre going on I began using the "bleach your hair in the bathroom of the LIRR train" method, which I have actually used before and is usually totally fine. A word of caution however, make sure the water in the sink works. It didn't. I had bleach on the ends of my hair for an hour. After it had already been bleached from black like 3 times. Now I've been pretty unrelentingly awful with things I've done to my hair before, but nothing compared to this. The bottom was a completely different texture than the top. The red ombre was one of my favorite looks ever but I just couldn't keep it up after that. Here is how you can fix a terrible screw up like that:

Pixie Cut

~Cut some of it off. Sorry, I know this isn't what you want to hear but it has to be said. If your hair is that damaged the best thing to do is start over.  When my hair was really damaged a few years ago I cut it all off and when it grew back it was the thickest and nicest it's ever been. I'm not saying you have to go that crazy, but cut a few inches off the bottom or even get some layers, be sure to get those ends off.

~Dye it a solid, darker color. This is something some of you may not wanna hear either, but it's true. If your hair is damaged darker colors will hide it better than lighter ones. I know you've seen the same girls on the train that I have, who've bleached their hair into oblivion and it just looks so thin and damaged and awful. When it gets to that point you kind of have to decide: do I want bleach blonde/hilighted hair or do i want nice hair?  Because sometimes you can't have both and it's more important to have healthy nice hair than to have exactly what you want. I'd love to have hilights or ombre again but bleaching black hair is a whole lot of hell I'm not willing to deal with.

~Sleep with deep conditioner in your hair. Put it on, put on a shower cap, sleep. In fact every minute you're not outside of your house: deep conditioner. Shower cap.  You can use whichever you like, I like the ones at Lush and Kiehl's.

My "real hair" is curly.

 If your hair is not "dear god what have I done?" damaged (if it is you should do this as well as the things I've mentioned above), but could use some work:

~Leave your natural texture alone for awhile: That means if your hair is straight, wear it straight. If it's curly, wear it curly. It doesn't matter if you don't "like" it that way. You'll like it even less if it looks like shit. If it's the summertime or you live somewhere warm, try using no heat at all for a month.

~If you color your hair use the Aveda color depositing conditioners every other day. They're super moisturizing and you're constantly adding "color" to your ends so split ends will show up way less.

~ Use gentler products. R&B hair moisturizer from Lush is really great if you're trying to break away from hairsprays and sticky stuff because it's moisturizing and it controls frizz. Use only the tiniest amount though or you will look like a greaseball. I also like Lush's Shine So Bright split end balm because it smells amazing, works, and you can carry it around in your purse. Aveda's Damage Remedy Daily Hair Repair leave in is also really great because it adds protein back into your hair.

 After the train bleach incident, I did cut a bunch of my hair off, dye it back to all black and baby the shit out of it. So far it's really healthy and growing back!

Hope these suggestions were helpful. Please be nice to your hair :)

Wednesday, November 28, 2012

Smell Fancy:TokyoMilk Dark "Excess"

Hello, gorgeous.

   Hi! I was visiting my Dad in Florida for a week and came back with TokyoMilk Dark: Excess Perfume and Hand Lotion. It has got to be my favorite thing from the absolute clusterfuck of consumerism that was my birthday. I think that after about 3 years I finally have a signature scent again. When I worked at Kiehl's in a past life, I got totally hooked on the Amber Essence Oil. It smelled great in general, but was absolutely perfect with my body chemistry. It stayed on even after a shower. People would literally stop me on the street and ask me what I was wearing. I vowed never to wear anything else. And then the fuckers discontinued it in favor of some light body sprays that stay on for exactly five minutes and are nowhere near as sophisticated *sigh*.
I spent the time between then and now searching for anything that smelled remotely like it. It was like that episode of friends where Rachel started dating a guy named Russ who was really just a poor copy of Ross. It started off ok with me trying the Prada Amber and Kate Walsh's Boyfriend and ended in a very dark place where I was wearing some patchouli abomination from fucking Urban Outfitters that had some slight trace of one of the Kiehl's base notes. I don't even know what brand it was. It just said PATCHOULI on the side of the bottle in purple. Yupp.

I now smell like amber and booze (instead of just booze)
  I've always favored a more masculine perfume scent considering how feminine I dress. This scent is composed of amber resin, oak bark, blood orange, and patchouli. You can really smell the blood orange when you first put it on and while I was really never a  fan of citrus scents, this one manages to not be so light and airy. It fades (at least on me) to something that smells a bit like leather and amber. It lasts a good long time, too. Apparently this is a "winter scent" according to much fancier and more specialized perfume bloggers. However I really like the idea of wearing this musky androgynous  fragrance with a lacy sundress and in the immortal words of Eric Cartman "WHATEVAH, I DO WHAT I WANT!"so I think I'm wearing it year round. It does share some notes with the dearly departed Amber essence, but it's got it's own thing going on. And I finally think I'm okay with that because I love it. I feel like it smells like me. I have thought other things were decent since the Amber essence, but this one has me smelling myself like a weirdo which I haven't done since I wore that.
Smelling myself like a weirdo.

  I did manage to smell the entire collection before deciding to take this one home with me, and it's a solid collection. I really didn't want this to be "the one" at first because Tainted Love had a skeleton key on the bottle and I loved the way it looked. I just thought it smelled terrible on me though, way too sweet for my taste. I am warming up to this one, the octopus is really cute too. The packaging on this line in general is really beautiful considering how "cheap" people who are actually employed keep saying it is. The fragrance is $36 and the hand cream is $22. I try to only spritz myself once a day but I quite enjoy carrying the hand cream around and putting it on because it feels great and the tube is just very very pretty. The tube also comes in a snazzy little pouch and if these are the sorts of trivialities that matter to you (as they do to me) you will really enjoy this whole experience.

Monday, November 12, 2012

Living off the Land: Do your whole face up in Sephora

  Hello there. While I am patiently waiting to get a real job, I thought I'd write you guys a post about what I'm up to (which is mostly going out all the time without really enough money to do it with).

  So if you suddenly find yourself already on the street, with no make up, and are randomly invited out, go to Sephora where your face can go from "0" to "dirty whore" in about 15 mins. They have testers, they have disposable applicators, it all seems pretty self explanatory right? It would be if the lighting in these places wasn't totally fucking horrendous. Which it is. In every single one of them. I imagine when they're erecting a new one (haha, I said "erecting") that they bring a couple different lights and a mirror and stop only when everyone involved looks like they have scurvy. This makes doing a full face of make up in there very difficult (coincidence? I think not).  Here are some tips that make it easier.

 ~ First off, you need a base that won't end up an entirely different skin color than the rest of you.  Take advantage of the fact that a myriad of moisturizers and eye creams are at your disposal in the same store as the make up, the smoother your face is the more seamlessly the make up will blend with your skin. Use the sheerest coverage you can get away with, preferably a BB cream or tinted moisturizer because if it is not exactly the right color it will be way less noticeable and easier to blend with fingers. If you need more coverage in a certain area, use a concealer. If you're confused about the shade, go one lighter since their overall lighting scheme seems to bleach everything out and that can cause make up that would usually be too dark to look just right.

~ Use a cream blush. They used to have a can of make up brushes everyone could use. While that wasn't the most sanitary thing in the world it was extremely convenient. Now all they have are these sad looking sponge things that will absolutely cake on powder blush. Use a cream blush because you can rub it in with your fingers. I know that if you have any sort of blemish or red mark that you think cream blush is your enemy, but that's not always true. After you've rubbed the normal amount on, mix a little cream based concealer with some of the blush and pat it on any marks. It should blend more seamlessly with the blush.

~ Use an eyeshadow base, it makes things spread more evenly on your eyelid and you are bound to miss something in this light. I personally like Urban Decay.

~ Use shimmery colors. They can be applied less precisely than matte colors. I find it's best to use a cream shadow first because as you open your eye it creates sort of a natural shape and crease and it's much easier to follow that with powder than to create your own shape in bad lighting. Layer a few colors over each other and blend the shit out of it. Try to make it look "smudged and smokey" on purpose.

~ Use a serious mascara (like Dior Show) to emphasize your lashes even though you can't use an eyelash curler. Hold the wand at the base of your lashes an push them up to give them a little lift anyway.

~ Choose a lipstain as opposed to a lipstick or gloss. It will stay on longer. If you need some shine and have at least a dollar, use a lipstain for color and then buy a 99 cent clear gloss from NYC at the drugstore.

~ Most importantly: keep reminding yourself as you're staring at every magnified pore on your face that this is not really what you look like and you do not need to walk with a paper bag over your head from now on. The lighting is just evil. I've gone into Sephora with some insanely beautiful people with flawless skin and they still looked bad. It's a total trap. The upside to this is if you can make yourself look remotely decent *in* Sephora, you will look pretty amazing when you come out. Some of the best make up looks I've ever done were in Sephora. Trust.

Full face done in Sephora. I'm not mooching, I'm "living off the land" ;)

Thursday, October 25, 2012

Now on Facebook!

Like this blog? Make it official on Facebook, pretty please!

Wednesday, October 24, 2012

Review of the Tanda Zap

Hey guys. I am officially an Aveda graduate! No more school. I'm trying not to think of how scary real life is, so I'll review this nifty esthetic gadget I've had for about a month. Cool?
Nuke those fuckers!

 So this device treats break outs  with a mix of blue light and pulsating heat. Blue light is antiseptic and this is along the same lines as the fancy light therapy you get from the dermatologist except that it won't cost you $832632846 dollars. It's $50.00 at Sephora which is pretty pricey but it does work! The problem people have with these sorts of products is that their expectations are not realistic in the first place and so they are bound to be disappointed and then write about it on the internet. This thing is not a scam, but it's not a miracle worker. It follows some pretty distinct guidelines for optimal results.

First of all it can *completely* get rid of a zit in just one day. There are just conditions. You have to get it at exactly the right minute. Right when it's under the skin, before it's really anything but you can feel something there. If you do that it absolutely will get rid of the thing. Gone. No whitehead, no red mark, like it never existed. It's just that getting to it in time is a pain in the ass. A lot of things about this are a pain in the ass, but are worth it. I suggest carrying it around with you (it's small enough to fit in your make up bag) and risking looking like an asshole on the subway. Small price to pay for clear skin IMO. So what if you were too late and you already got the pimple? It will significantly help. If you use it enough times. Which is about 10. And this thing eats batteries, so again I remind you that it's a giant pain in the ass. I like to use it while I'm sitting on the computer or reading so it's not quite such a tedious process.

The bottom line with the Tanda is that while it may not be the most user friendly thing in the world, I think the results are well worth it. My skin has been looking pretty clear and much less blotchy than it used to. If you were ever looking into light therapy or alternative methods of dealing with acne, give this a shot.

Monday, October 8, 2012

Clarisonic Mia Review

I've heard a lot of noise about the Clarisonic Mia

I have this guy in purple :)
  Let me begin this review with a disclaimer: Do not exfoliate your face every day. Please for the love of god do not exfoliate your face every day. It's really unhealthy for the majority of people. This little guy has a time and a place in your life and that is most likely once a week. This is my professional advice, I however have been using it once a day. In the words of many people's parents "Do as I say, not as I do." I use it once a day because Accutane changed my skin forever and now it's prone to being extremely dry and flakey. Before using the Mia, I was also able to exfoliate once a day using a scrub. My skin loves it. I'm not exactly sure why. Pre Accutane that would irritate the shit out of me. It will probably irritate the shit out of you. I do not advise it in general. Skin is weird, people. There are a lot of general rules and guidelines, but there are also a lot of "flukes". Some weird, random shit works for certain people for seemingly no reason. I'm sure there is someone out there who has beautiful skin courtesy of that god forsaken St. Ives Apricot Scrub that's the bane of my existence.

  Anyway the point I will eventually get to is that I love this thing. I've heard there can be issues with it and break out prone skin but not for me. In the two weeks I've used it it has had no effect on that whatsoever. I broke out due to hormones when I normally break out, and didn't at any other time. I was sad it wasn't the miracle cure for hormonal acne, but it did do wonders for the texture of my skin. It's so much smoother and softer. I had a bit of a rougher texture for a bit and now that's pretty much gone. It also makes make up apply so much smoother! I use it once in the morning before I apply my BB cream (and concealer if it's needed that day) and it just looks so much smoother and blends with my skin more evenly. And I really like the way it feels ok? I mean who doesn't love things that vibrate? I think this is definitely worth trying. Sephora has a great return policy if you're not satisfied with it.  It is pretty damn expensive, but if you want really smooth skin it's worth it.

Great for a smoother BB cream application!

Follow me on Instagram:swansaredead

Wednesday, October 3, 2012

Jenni Must Have...

Jenni Halina is a model and actress. She also makes music under the name Girl in Dreamland. Jenni currently splits her time between NYC and Los Angeles. You can stalk her on the internet at,, and Here are some of her favorite products!

1- Nivea cream - my lips are always chapped. They look like someone took a cheese grater to them.  I put Nivea on at night and it’s soothing and they are usually soft again by morning.

2- Almay black eyeliner- easy to apply, can’t leave home without my eyeliner. I’ve even had guys say to me “I really like how you do your eyes” or “I like how you just wear eyeliner and that’s it and it really works for you.” This color is meant to bring out Hazel eyes; my eyes are brown but I prefer black liner to the purple which is recommended for brown eyes, though I have tried the purple and it is quite pretty as are the other colors. I like Almay a lot in general.

3- Creed ‘Spring Flower’ perfume- Super expensive, I ran out, so if anyone wants to buy me a present! It smells like a dream. Designed for Audrey Hepburn originally, but just because I’m not a famous movie star (yet) doesn’t mean I can’t wear it.

4- Sephora tinted moisturizer with spf 15 - moisturizer. tinted. spf. need I say more? Not too pricey and makes your skin feel great.

5- Pomengranate scented soap from Provence. There’s a little store near a place I was staying in Los Angles during a show I was in; it sold this soap here. I fell in love with soap. I bought 2 or 3 little blocks of it and then ended up buying 6 more through out the rest of the month I was in that town.  I saved two bars for wherever I stay next, and am going through withdrawals. I need to just go back and get more or order some.

Honorable Mention- I’ve recently discovered a line of makeup called e.l.f. It’s super cheap and good for basic stuff like mascara and eyeliner. A lot of their products cost less than five dollars. This was only 3 dollars! I’m serious. I used a lot of these products for the play I was in because I thought my other makeup was stolen. Then somewhere along the way it turned up, but I still continued to use e.l.f.’s clear mascara to tame fly-aways, their eyelid primer and this eyebrow shaping kit.  I especially love the eyebrow kit, because my eyebrows are always a mess; I either over pluck or they are uneven. This is a simple kit that helps you even out and accentuate your brows in the right way for your face shape.

Monday, September 17, 2012

None More Black: Avoid looking like an Emo High schooler.

Hi guys! Sorry I've been gone for awhile, school has been keeping me exhausted. I always get comments on my blue-black hair and how I keep it this color. Some people even ask me if it's natural, which is profoundly ridiculous, but it happens.

My obsession with black hair started as a goth teenager. Since then I've switched it around and even went back to my natural auburn, but I am most comfortable with black. And honestly I look boring as shit without black hair. I'm ashamed to admit that when I first started dying it I encountered that "permanent marker black" where it was so flat it looked like i stuck shoe polish on my head. This is not acceptable to me as an adult. I make a real effort to keep it multi-dimensional and glossy looking. Even though it's been a number of years since I exclusively wore black and fishnets, I like to keep some gothy elements in my look. I like how black hair adds some edge, even if I'm wearing a flowery sundress.

Here is what you need to keep your black classy:

1. The  right dye: I use Feria dye in either Starry Night or Midnight Moon depending on what I can find. Both add a nice blue black sheen and the after color conditioner keeps the hair in good condition. Damaged hair is the easiest way to make your black look sophmoric. Your undertone doesn't need to be blue (brown and purple work as well) but you need to have some sort of dimension.

2. Color depositing shampoo/conditioner : I use Black Malva from Aveda, because i get it for free and I'm poor. But also it's awesome! I got it at first just for the color enhancing properties, but I actually love how shiny it makes my hair. If you want to keep your black looking adult, you absolutely CANNOT have bad roots. Especially if you do not have naturally dark brown hair. If you do, good for you, you can go a little longer in between coloring. If your hair is red or blonde you really must keep on top of the root situation. If you're too poor for that use some black eye shadow on your roots until you can afford to dye again. The color depositing shampoo really will come in handy here, it turns my red roots brown and makes them a little more bearable.

3. Dye your eyebrows: If you have black hair, you need black eyebrows. You can also pencil/shadow them in but that's annoying, i prefer henna. If you cannot pull off black eyebrows, you probably cannot pull off black hair.

4. Even out your skintone: Nothing looks worse than a ruddy complexion and black hair. Use some BB cream or tinted moisturizer!

5. Use a leave in conditioner: I use Damage Remedy Leave In from Aveda because I'm Aveda's bitch, but anything works. After so much dye, you need to really take care of your hair to keep it healthy. I also suggest a treatment once a week.

Hope this was helpful!

Baby Goth Kristine


Friday, July 6, 2012

Allergic to Everything? Some must haves for your plastic bubble...

                                                                         Merchant of death.

  As a small child, I could not go outside in the month of May. Literally. And I'm not saying literally in the way that a lot of people say it where it's an exaggeration. If I went out, even for 5 minutes, My eyes would swell shut, I would get hives, and asthma. When I got a scratch test at the allergist, almost all of the allergens gave me a bump, one or two of them blowing up so badly they thought I might need to go to the hospital. The Dr. said it was the worst reaction he'd seen in 25 years of practice.

  Many years of weekly allergy shots later and I can sort of function in the spring and summer. I still have horribly sensitive, allergy prone skin that is the bain of my existence. I'm allergic to most things in nature, all of the fruit I actually like, and many products. Sometimes I just randomly break out in hives or blotches for no reason. I think I'm one of the only people who's asked to have sex with the lights off, not because of any body related insecurity, but because they had hives.

Here are some of the products that help my skin chill the fuck out:

~Kiehl's Centella Recovery Skin Salve
This stuff is amazing. It makes you instantly stop itching. You can throw it on any kind of irritation, allergy, or bug bite. It contains Tiger herb, which apparently injured tiger's know to roll in in the wild. I carry this with me at all times.

~ Aveda All Sensitive Cleanser
This gentle cleanser is what I use if my skin is just too irritated or red to use Outer Peace. I use it at school(since we practice on each other and you end up having to wash your face 90 times a day) because it won't dry you out.

~First Aid Beauty Instant Oatmeal Mask
This mask feels soothing as soon as you put it on. Leave it for 10 mins and your skin will be softer and smoother.

~Aveda Skin Balancing Infusion for Sensitive Skin
They put this oil on me in class and it made my face so much less red. I've never seen it look as good. I use this whenever my skin looks really pink. It smells really nice too

Saturday, June 16, 2012


                            Aveda Outer Peace cleanser does wonders for keeping your skin clear.  
                              Can they please add a product for under eye bags? Because damn.

  Hello! Sorry I have been quiet lately. I have been adjusting to my new 6 AM wake up time.  Attending Aveda's Esthiology program is one of the only good reasons for doing something so out of character. I have absolutely loved the last two weeks at Aveda. I finally have found where I belong and what I want to do with my life and other vaguely zen sounding shit like that. Doesn't hurt that my class is fucking awesome either, they are easy on the eyes and good for the self esteem. So are my teachers. I'm actually really happy right now. I feel pretty obnoxious about it.

  I am now hopelessly devoted to facials you guys. My skin has never been this clear, but more on that in a moment. I am just starting to learn the Aveda skin care line. They base their system on Ayurveda, the Hindu system of traditional medicine and divide the skin (and personality) types into categories: Infinity/Air (dry), Fire (sensitive), and Water/Earth (oily) to simplify it. I of course am Fire because I break out in hives at the slightest provocation, and also because I will go up to people who are belligerently drunk and loud on the train and be all "WHY CAN I HEAR YOU OVER MY IPOD!?" We watched this really cool documentary about Ayurvedic medicine too and while I am like the least likely person to hug a tree, it was pretty damn compelling. I mean don't get me wrong I will still totally pump my body full of poison in the name of vanity, but if I don't have to and end up getting even better results I'm more than fine with that. I'm not totally in bed with organics yet, but we are at least glancing at each other across a crowded room wondering if the other is easy. I mean, people are telling me I have beautiful skin. I've never heard that before. That's like, not the compliment I get.  Usually the best I can hope for is people not noticing my skin at all. But I am totally enjoying the positive attention my skin is getting. And it's not just a fluke thing with me. All of my friends in class who have tried the products are seeing a very noticeable improvement. I'm thrilled. I could never sell a product I don't stand behind, because...ew.

 Here are the things keeping my face clear and glowing and all that good stuff:

Outer Peace Cleanser-This is what I think is mainly responsible for it.

Outer Peace Cooling Mask- Helps with redness and inflamation.

Enbrightening Toner-Amazing for hyperpigmentation.

Also: Never use St. Ives Apricot scrub again. We learned that the particles in it are too big and since they are not perfectly round they irritate and can even tear the skin. Go get it from your bathroom right now and throw it out. Or use it on your feet.


Thursday, June 7, 2012

Brooke Must Have...

Brooke Sanzari is a licensed aesthetician, makeup artist and brow specialist, with more than 10 years of experience. Owner and operator of Browtopia, a studio that specializes in eyebrow sculpting and express organic skin care, she truly customizes every "experience" for all of her clientele. The famed "browpixie" will be releasing the first piece of her Browtopia product line this summer!
Facebook Fanpage Browtopia

Blinc mascara
A mascara that you apply just once? A mascara that doesn't damage your lashes? It comes off without scrubbing or makeup remover!?! No smudge, no flakes, water-resistant, humidity-proof, holds a curl all day, AND is perfect for sensitive eyes!?!? THIS ACTUALLY EXISTS!? Why yes, yes it does. Do I really need to say anymore? $26

Aveda "Sheer Ambrosia Fire" Lipstick
In my opinion- the perfect red lipstick for everyone. No matter what your coloring is or how afraid of "red" you are. This is more of a deep red. It doesn't pull pink or orange tones. It is gorgeous in every sense of the word. Truly the only lipstick that I can say (honestly) : "yes, if you just wear this lipstick, you look polished without any other makeup". (assuming you have well-groomed brows and skin of course) $16

Shu Umera eyelash curler- The ultimate in a precision eyelash curling without damaging your lashes. Shu Umera has by far the best design with a high quality silicon "pillow" to squeeze even the straightest lashes into a submissive curl. 'Nuff said. $20

Browboo eyebrow gel: Say goodbye to hard, flakey and dull eyebrows! Browboo gel is "good for you grooming". With the very best in organic ingredients, this gel does more than just keeping brows in line. It made with bamboo with it's naturally high content of silica, flax seed and aloe that soothes, nourishes and protects hairs to keep them healthy, lush and looking great. Fabulousness in a bottle? Could be. $21 (coming this summer)

Nars "Night Star" eyeshadow has a fabulous hint of shimmer in a lovely shade of champagne gold. Perfect as a simple wash of color all over your lid for a polished look. Or you can use it as a base. $14

Saturday, May 26, 2012

Erin Must Have...

                                                                Erin is on the left.

Hai guyz

Erin here, but most of you probably know me as "the cousin." I'm 21, fresh out of college, and currently looking for work (please God someone give me a job anyone please). Most days I can be found watching Food Network alone in my basement. I enjoy long walks on Union Turnpike and bubble tea dates with Miss Kristine Bean. Kris has taught me everything I know about makeup/skincare/not looking like a gremlin…

                                             Me in the morning...

                                         Me after hair and makeup…AMAZING RIGHT?!1

SoOoOo it's fitting that I'm about to share my top 5 favorites on her very own beauty blergh. Leggo:

1.) Clinique 3-Step Skincare System ($41.50)
I have problematic skin. If my skin were a person, it would be Lindsay Lohan-- HEAR ME OUT-- it's like I've given it every opportunity to be all it can be, put countless amounts of time and money into taking care of it, and it'll still just randomly break out or run someone over with its car every now and then (er-- I think I'm mixing metaphors. Jokez.) Anywhosals, this stuff is the only over-the-counter product to consistently keep my skin under control. Bonus points cuz there are a variety of face washes, toners, and moisturizers to choose from within the system- each one targets a different skin type.

2.) Queen Helene's Mint Julep Masque (~$4.50)
I love this stuff…no, don't love-- luuuuuuurve. It's a creamy green face mask that's great for oily, acne-prone skin. It smells minty and leaves a slight tingly feeling on your skin-- kinda like the way your mouth feels right after you brush your teeth, y'know? Ahh it's lovely. Also, it is super cheap and can be found at most drug stores. SHWING.

3.) Clean Shower Fresh Perfume ($38.00)
Kristine has been telling me for a few years that this perfume reminds her of me, sooo I finally picked a bottle up recently and I'm OBSESSED. It's hard to describe the scent without just repeating the name because that's basically what it is- just fresh and clean and soapy and delicious. I like to carry it around in my purse and use it when I've been running around for a few hours and am feeling kinda meh-- it's like an instant pick-me-up.

4.) Covergirl LashBlast Fusion (~$9.00)
This is kind of a boring pick, but I want to include it anyways because it's one of my holy grail products. I'm pretty picky when it comes to mascara, but this is the best one I've found. It gives you length and volume without clumping or flaking off midday. If you're fair like me i would suggest trying the black brown shade for a more natural look.

5.) Nars Orgasm Blush ($28.00)
Ok so everyone's heard about this stuff, right? It's amazing-- a peachy-pink blush with some gold shimmer. It's a little on the pricey side (okaaaay a lot) for a blush, but believe me it is soo worth it-- especially for pale peeps, as the color looks natural on even the lightest skin tones and is also very buildable.

Tuesday, May 22, 2012

Kristine Must Have...

I will be doing a series of people's five favorite products. Mine first!

1. The Body Shop
Vitamin C Microdermabrasion Scrub
This is a really hard core exfoliator. If you have dry skin it keeps it smooth. It is also doing a great job of fading my acne scars.

2. Lush
Cosmetic Warrior Mask
This is great for break out prone skin. Use it whenever you feel a spot coming on or during times you're due for break outs (when you're stressed or about to get your period). It has  greatly reduced my hormonal break outs.

3. Skin79
 Hot Pink Super Plus BB Cream
$28.00 for 40g
This stuff is great if you hate/don't need foundation. It's tinted moisturizer/primer/oil control/anti wrinkle all in one product. It's supposed to match your skintone, and it actually works for my super pale skin. It literally looks like you're wearing nothing on your face. You do have to order it online, but it's worth it.

4. Tarte
LipSurgence Natural Lip Tint
I have this in "moody". I wear this every day unless I am going somewhere fancy. This is one of the few colors that looks good on me when I'm not wearing other make up (aside from the aforementioned BB Cream, which I don't really count). This product is like a hybrid of a lipbalm and a lip stain which means it gives good color but doesn't dry out your lips. It doesn't stay on as well as a regular lipstain and is a bit more sheer, but it leaves behind a bit more color than a lipbalm.

5. Kiehl's
Facial Fuel Eye De-Puffer
If you had no sleep and can barely open your eyes, the cooling sensation of this product fixes that. It's also really great if you've been crying a lot the night before (not that that happens to me often). I keep this in my bag at all times. I even got my boyfriend, who is not a product guy into this.

                                         This manly man endorses the Eye De-Puffer.

Sunday, May 13, 2012

Lush is full of shiny, happy people.

 I love this place. It has a really nice atmosphere and everyone who works there has a vested interest in your skin, hair, and general well being. Or at least they are very convincing liars, which is totally good enough in my opinion.
 The other day I was having a really bad skin day (and also life day)  and while none of my friends or family could make me feel better, the good people of Lush managed to do it. With samples! So many samples. Seriously they will give you anything you want in the store, and a decent amount of it at that. If they don't feel you've asked for enough samples they're all "are you sure that's it? have you heard about our hair care?" The answer is no, you have not, and you would like to try all of it. Then they tell you you're not breaking out that badly (which is probably a lie) and that you look like Zooey Deschanel. Well at least that's what they did for me.
 The upside is they really seem to care about you and want to make you pretty in a healthy. natural way. The downside is they really seem to care about you and want to make you pretty in a healthy, natural way. So when you tell them you've already done a course of Accutane and might very well do a second they make you feel really guilty. They make you feel the way your parents make you feel when they say they're "not mad, just disappointed" They ask you loaded questions like "is it worth putting poison in your body to look good?!" and then you just stand there and look uncomfortable because the answer is yes.
 But go there anyway, it's worth the twinge of guilt because... samples.

Here are some of the things I love at Lush:

Cosmetic Warrior Face Mask- This antiseptic mask is great to use for hormonal breakouts. Your face just feels so clean after you use it and it won't dry you out at all.

Grease Lightning-Really great spot treatment. If you skin likes tea tree oil like mine does, this will work for you.

Curly Wurly Shampoo-If you have curly hair and would rather not look like you stuck your finger in a light socket when it rains, try this.

Ocean Salt-This hardcore  exfoliant will remove 3 layers of your skin. If you're into that sort of thing.

Recommendation : Aveda Damage Remedy Daily Hair Repair

Hello! Welcome to my blog :)  I got this idea because I'm constantly recommending products to my friends. I may be driving them a little nuts at first, but they always end up thanking me and becoming equally obsessed with whatever I was evangelizing.
 The first thing I want to recommend to you guys is Aveda Damage Remedy Daily Hair Repair. I just got a new tube of this after being without it for a month and I cannot tell you how much better my hair is looking! I'm not going to lie, I'm not kind to my hair. If my hair was a small, defenseless animal instead of hair PETA would have had me drawn and quartered by now. I've been known to bleach it three times and then dye it three one day. This stuff actually keeps it feeling like hair. I have to warn you though, this is one of those products that subscribes to that terrible marketing strategy of "let's make you look a million times better WHILE you are using this product and then as soon as you stop you will look so bad in comparison that you will feel awful about yourself until you buy it again." If you stop using it for a couple of days your hair will go back to looking (and feeling) the way it did before the Daily Hair Repair came into your life. And that was BAD. Even if you didn't think it was bad before, you know now that that was a lie.
 The minute you use this product, your hair will feel different. It's really amazing. Aveda products in general have this wonderful habit of actually doing what they say they do. If you are willing to be a slave to them for the rest of your life. Which I happily am. A full size tube of this baby will set you back $24.00. It's worth it. I'm pretty broke and I will happily skip a meal or two for this product. It's that good.

To find out for yourself: